Well FINALLY!

Finally finished my very first semester of college. I may not have gotten straight A's, or even a B in one case (potentially), but I'd say I've accomplished a lot. I'm now down with the first half of A&P, done with Survey of Chemistry (at least until I have to take part 2, but that won't be for a bit), owned my other two generals classes and got into the nursing program.
I've learned a lot! Not just from the books either. I've learned lessons like you won't always get A's (ok I already knew this, but it kinda extends now to B's and is more fully reinforced). You will bomb some tests. I've learned how to study more efficiently, even if it was through mistakes and I have not fully mastered that yet. I've learned when to study for things and tests.
I mean I'd say I did pretty good for someone who has slacked a bit, although in relation to chemistry is doesn't matter if you slack or not, your grade is the same. I've watched 3 seasons of Merlin, 2 seasons of Dead Zone, watched the season of Lie to Me and Psych (which has a DOUBLE FEATURE TONIGHT). I haven't read a ton, but I'm getting back into it and learning to balance things and that you should have fun and not just study all the time. I now know HOW important it is for me to socialize with others. I also know that I evidently cannot really make new friends, and the ones I did make was more like they picked me... which actually sounds arrogant but I think it's becuase I'm funny (whether or not a lot of it is intentional is debatable) and potentially, dare I say, friendly. I mean I must not be that bad to hang around as I do hang out with some other students and they seem to enjoy my company as I do theirs, not just trying to survive our encounters.
I have discovered this wicked awesome thing online that allows you to get free books, but you also have to send free books... it's like lending in a more permanent way.
I've watched movies, worked out at the gym, gone out with friends (RED ROBIN) and found out a little about life. so I will make this a list as this is REALLY long for a blog

1. Holy cow life is messed up. It rally is not all rainbows and butterflies. But life does go on.
2. No, people do not yield when they are supposed to. Actually it is potentially NEVER.
3. I found out I may potentially have a whopping dose of bad luck... for real, I'm getting suspicious.
4. I'm evidently a complete nerd as I could really spend hours in barnes and noble... just being there is awesome...

PICTURES

New obsessions

Potential addiction!

Probably an addiction... and its bad as they are candy.... the real fruit was ok this... this is potentially deadly

OK, so I know this is my bagillionth blog today, and I tend to do that but...

I'm pretty sure this is kinda cathartic for me. That and I am avoiding studying. I did just finish a paper though, but I have to write another one that is due tomorrow. It's ok, it's a reaction paper on my opinion on the whole class, which is a religion class. So it's not like it has to be awesome like papers have to be for comp 101/102

So since we got netflix, and I'm bored, and have no life, and like to watch TV, and like to do non-productive things and not study, I have started watching a show I had forgotten about, called the dead zone.... Ok so it is about a psychic, but it is a bit more sciency. And I wasn't looking for that riveting of a show with tons of meaning and awesomeness... Though this one awesome in its own right.

pictures?

Oh chemistry, you bring out the worst in me... especially cussing wise

Maybe its magic... or maybe its Maybelline!

every minute of every day

tumblr blackout!

that awkward moment you wake up in someone else's bed... Oh but it's okay, there's a hot naked guy in it

what IS at sau

what is NOT found at SAU

this is me, sad like the gay kid off glee who falls in love with straight people... and when he finally falls in love with someone who is gay, doesn't get him

or Mr. schue on glee... that man is sad, he literally has NO ONE... all he has is the glee club

On your child and vaccinations

Yes dear people, it does quite appear that the infant mortality rate was going down since 1850 without the help of vaccines. However, should your child have gotten the disease, they result was the same Most believe teh decline has to do with better living conditions and more education. But let's think about it. Yes it is really uncommon for us to find most of the vaccinated diseases now days... that is rather in the US and western Europe.
Now let us say that there is a 1 in 2000 chance your child will die... you can fix this significantly, making the chance of your child dying next to none. So, you going to save the kid or take the chance. Oh so your worried about what is in those vaccines? Then you should definitely look into what your eating becuase I can assure you it will probably kill you long before the vaccine seemly attacks you(how the attack happens is unknown as there is no connections yet found...)
Well, let's just say if someone did get one of those viruses over here becuase they came from like Africa, or it was a biological weapon (obviously by a stupid terrorist as most would be vaccinated), either way... you're going down, more specifically your child.
You can do as you like, I'm sure your child will not get ill... I'm not going to take that chance..
PS modern medicine is not out to get you, that is insurance companies. Okay maybe there's that mad doc or something, but there are less infant deaths and life spans have increased. Not only that the quality of life has increased.

PPS good luck getting your child into school, or college, or into a job! Most places require you to not be a target or random deadly diseases... even at CDC....

Watch out for those potato chips. yeah those in your hand. Science has shown a DEFINITE correlation between lifestyle and health issues...

WAIT also they don't give your child autism... that's probably you and your genetics codes fault so stop blaming others..

This shall be an ode to SAU

O SAU, how  you have misrepresented
what you are and what you do
you have not ever had tasks completed
So to you I say, fuck you

As the days creep by

Each day is closer and closer to the dreaded exams. Some loom over my head like the eye of a storm. One small move and then I'm going to be swept away! Went to Gatlinburg for It Is Written which just means mass gathering of Adventists. Yeah, I went shopping instead. But there was free food; which was all VERY Adventist. It snowed, but not before it rained teh day before. Overall I really did enjoy the trip, even if it was with family... if you just don't talk a bunch and just go with the flow everything is fine... yeah I know, sad right?

Here is something that will be on 2 tests/exams and potentially 1 more. Chem test I took last friday was a nightmare. I will show you in pictures.

I walk in the room confident that all my studying will pay off.

thats me studying

What I THOUGHT was going to happen

Me starting the test and knowing stuff! THIS IS SERIOUS!

Halfway through the test

Time is running out and its really close to the end and I don't know what's happening anymore

If I die it will be because I drowned my grief with these

Life...

Do you ever have those moments when you suddenly realize that THIS IS YOUR LIFE. Like, what are you going to do with that. Yeah, get your degree and work. But is that enough? Do you just want to go home and watch some TV and then go to bed?
Do you ever have those moments when you think the world must be out to get you when you suddenly realize THAT'S LIFE. Shit happens, and boy does it happen a lot. I mean I may have gotten more than the average soul, but people have their own problems that are still very real to them. Yes, sometimes I do wonder if there is really a power out to get me, but then I think that would make me paranoid, which would make me crazy, would would be less than ideal, but if you can recognize that you are crazy or think so you probably aren't.
Do you ever have those moments when the surreal happens, something you never thought would happen to you, and LIFE GOES ON? Those things you hoped would never happen to you, they only happened to some other poor souls. But then it does. It's bad but not as bad as you think, and you keep going on. You begin to understand that while you have many things to complain about, that you are actually fairly well off compared to some?
Do you ever have those moments when you realize that your LIFE COULD END AT ANY MOMENT? When that moment of when the idea of any invincibility you thought you had shatters. You begin to realize just how dangerous the world is. How miraculous that you actually made it through the day. The moment of understanding that life is more fragile than you could ever imagine and that stupid cliche, everyone says about tomorrow not being a given, is true. That all those horrible things CAN happen to you and those you know and love.
Do you ever have those moments when you realize that you ARE going to die? Whether it be soon or far from now, by a tragedy or natural cause, it is inevitable.
So what are you going to do with your LIFE?

So terribly bored...

So I sit in the library on a dark and dreary Tuesday. It could be possible that I should be doing some homework or studying... but my neck hurts and is rather stiff, making it increasingly difficult to concentrate. So I thought I should write a blog instead.
Some things that worry me:

1. The final exam for my A&P class. The teacher might actually be a bit crazy, and his tests a wicked hard. Not to mention there is an essay on it. Oh and don't forget the other test we have to take before the exam. And the fun lab exam next week.
2. My survey of chemistry grade being an 84%. This should not be happening and must be stopped. I may actually be getting this stuff though and am pretty able now to do problems and get the correct answers. There's supposed to be an optional test at the end that can cover the average scores of the first 4 tests like Jesus Christ covers our sins. At least that is how I understand it, and I think the analogy is fitting.
3. About getting my car fixed or having general transportation in general.
4. About filing all this insurance, carr accident form things.
5. The fact that the car accident made my already misaligned spine super worse, most specifically my neck (which is why it is so stiff and hurts)
6. There are less than 2 weeks left of normal school, exams are just around the corner! There is going to be an awesome break, but then off to more and more classes. Most specifically A&P 2 from the same crazy teacher. Also at the end of it we have to take a standardized test over both A&P 1 and 2. Scary!
7. The fact I cannot spell very well at all, and sometimes misread words as other words....
8. I'm rather upset that I cannot work out the rest of the week as I need to rest. Didn't work out most of last week either so I could chill and rest and rejuvinate.
9. *hmm what else can I possibly complain about* I have very few piaces of clothing that actaully fit me properly.
10. AND WE DO NOT HAVE FRESH FRUIT OR MY FROZEN BERRIES AT HOME TO EAT!!!!

So I complained, there needs to be a little brightside.

1. I didn't break anything in the car accident (THAT I KNOW OF)
2. I have a nice warm and dry home to stay in.
3. I have my laptop, and it works
4. I have my phone.
5. I bought some new sweaters, well only 2.
6. I may actually be understanding chemistry.
7. I have parents that help me out in tough situations
8. I don't live in the dorm.
9. I'm still clinging to an A- in the A&P, which is a miracle, but I get a B in one of THE easiest classes.
10. I have not, as of yet, spotted a zombie.
11. We have netflix.
12. I have someone's car to borrow for the time being.
13. Christmas will be here soon... even though it really is not a favorite holiday of mine to celebrate. But I do love all those cute, heart warming movies! and A Christmas Carol (by the muppets of course)
14. I'm not paralyzed! 
15. I continue to live through each day even though I'm terribly clumsy and may one day accidentally fall on a knife... it would happen...
16. Even though I cannot work out at the moment, I have an awesome gym that I can work out in.
17. This next lab exam should not be as hard as the last.
18. My family feeds me enough for me to get by( only that though because I prefer not to eat frozen food you must microwave.heat in oven, nor food friend in grease)
19. I really have my whole life ahead of me, and so far I've learned some great life lessons.
20. I have my guitar and can play it!! YAY!
21. One day, I am telling you, I will get a violin and learn to play. It will happen.

There needs to be photos!

Bobby getting his Victorian swag on.

Of car accidents and towing companies...

Well, it finally happened and I got to experience my very first accident. The car, needs a bumper and some windshield wiper thingy container replaced. The accident was not my fault becuase we all know green light means go and when on turns left they must yield on green to oncoming traffic. You know, maybe I should not have assumed that someone was going to obey the law and not turn out in front of me, but somehow I chose that moment to have faith in humanity that there is good in the world. No. The lady was nice about it though and called the police. I tried not to cry and called my mom and dad frantically. Told the police my story and called the tow truck. Called the insurance and got her info and proceeded to continue with the rest of the hoo-bla. Well 2 hours later the tow truck shows up, well it was free so I mean what can you expect. But then they took it to my dad's where the grounds-keeper told the man he could not leave the car there. O' Mr. Grounds-keeper you do not have the clout to make such a statement. I found out after my dad called me around 8.30, more than an hour after they had picked up my car, and he had heard nothing. Frowns on my end of the phone, but long story short they had the wrong number, blah blah blah, they returned the car promptly.

I cried a bunch and had to tell friends why I left them alone in the freezing park and why I wasn't in town... to which I just had to cry while talking to them. *I cry when I get scared... I really can't control it... darn parasympathetic nervous system!* but I ended up going into town anyway eating pizza and getting Starbucks

GET THIS!

At Starbucks me and Des were waiting in line, just talking about what drink we could get, we didn't have enough cash, so we'd put it on a card. This lady in front of us tells us she will pay for our drinks, we just put out cash in the tip jar. She said she normally had her 2 daughters with her and since she didn't she was going to buy us some. She said just do it someday for someone else. It could be tomorrow, a week from now or 10 years. We talked and she turned out to be a criminal psychologist, doing profiling and the sort. We told her our majors and where we went to school, and she was a real nice lady. After a car accident, and being down a bit it really helped perk me up. And warm my soul that sometimes there are people who are kind and inspire me to be more so. There was a little holiday spirit happening too, but that might has just been my chai latte. She insisted we both get ventis!!!!

I wept today(I'm pretty sure that is what it was man, this was not just crying, this was intense crying) becuase I'm just so overwhelmed about exams (especially with out ridiculously hard A&P teach) and how I don't get chemistry and how I have no one to help me and now I don't have a car for a bit.... yeah... I was a bit upset....

ok, not that I'm complaining, but I thought I was great after the accident... as today wore on I have only become more sore... :(

But bright-side!

1. I'm okay, and didn't break anything, have to go to ER ECT
2. The car only has minimal damage as compared as to what it could have been
3. It was only me in the car, and only the other driver.
4. We didn't hit pedestrians in the process of the accident (ok so not as likely, but I am a little paranoid about hitting pedestrians)
5. The other driver is alive.
6. It was not my fault and it is about as good as set in stone that it was her fault as she even got a citation.
7. The cop was nice, especially for a Collegedale cop.
8. Friends were nice and offered to pick me and so we could all still go out. Sarah and Cullen even stopped by.
9. My mom assures me that I won't get a subdural hematoma from this...
10. It was really not that bad of an accident and it could have been much worse....

This kid is too precious.... 

Yeah, newest obsession is Merlin... DONT JUDGE ME

Some things...

For one, there is a tumblr with the name fuckbees, which I thought was terribly hilarious. Perhaps too much so.
Speaking of perhaps'. I think, perhaps, that my favorite neighborhood in Chattanooga is Drake Forrest. Not becuase of their houses or anything. But becuase their streets are in the theme of King Arthur and the Arthurian legend. With streets like Merlin and Guinevere, how can you lose?
You know people always ask how someone could do that, or why did they. Especially in the Bible study settings... For example, how could this person kill this other person and directly disobey an order, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. I think we should all realize it is because they are HUMAN. Yes, you are perfectly capable of being evil like that; there may even be circumstances you have not thought of, but would justifiably warrant such a despicable action. So stop bashing all these people, you do the same thing too.
It's break and I'm so over classes I wish it would just all go away for good. With a 78% on a last test and lab exam , I'm less than pleased and/or excited about the A&P class/lab. Also, I have not a clue what's happening in chemistry and it is literally so frustrating that I almost cry. I mean how am I supposed to learn if no one teaches me; it's kind of difficult to teach myself ya know. Not to mention the dreadful monster looming that is the a&P cumulative exam... yeah, I'm not even sure how that will turn out at all.
Studying for hours for one homework assignment, going through each problem, dissecting how they got their answer by looking at notes, the book, problems in the book with answers in the back, examples within the chapter all combined to figure out 2 problems.

A blog full of ranting... mainly about a certain biology department

Dear Dept. Head,
When the average grade for the lab exam was an F, I do believe a mild curve could have been worked out. Do you think that maybe that says more about the teaching and the exam than our actual intelligence?
Sincerely,
Every A&P student

Dear Chemistry teacher,
I feel that when almost the entire class is a grade C or below this far in and continuing to do worse says something about you rather than the amount of time we spend studying. Oh, yes, I did study. I tried and I tried, teaching myself things for hours, just trying to figure out what things were. I did worse on the test than others. Yeah, you suck. that optional test at the end better cover up the average grade for the first 4 tests completely like Jesus covers our sins or I think a little bit of sin might be in my future. For the record, that's not a threat.
Sincerely,
Me, but I feel the rest of the class would either partly or whole heartedly agree.

Dear certain A&P teacher,
I think that maybe you should stop giving ridiculous exams, we can't literally remember it all so it would be know to know on a general level other than tells us what MIGHT be an essay. Not that I  am complaining about you telling us about the essay, for that I am most grateful. But I and some others do believe your tests are nonsensical and illogical overall.
Sincerely,
A concerned group of A&P students
PS we know about your meretricious behavior and favoritism of the female kind, in that creepy way.
PPS do low cut tops = good grade?

Dear population of the United States,
I hate to inform you of this but you appear to be unaware of it. This is a country of freedom. Freedom of speech and religion. This does not mean Christianity and reject all else. It means all religions. They have every right as you do. That's what the USA is. That's why people come from all around so they do not have to be persecuted for their beliefs, but thats just what you do. Oh, and the Christians are teh worst. Putting a "God" stamp on it does not make your ideas something God agrees with; furthermore, He probably will be upset at you misusing His name, after all that's how we get people to turn away from Him (a great way to give someone an eternal death sentence).
Peace,
A concerned citizen.
PS there is separation of church and state and it should stay that way. It says it in the Constitution, even if Christine O'Donnell doesn't think so.

Dear creators of Merlin, Doctor Who, and Sherlock,
I love you shows. Though it might be sad, they are literally sometimes the highlight of my day. Oh, Merlin writers, you should definitely do something with Morgana, she can't keep trying to get the  throne for 10 episodes. It get's old.
Thanks,
ME

Dear Sir Arthur Conan Doyle,
I know people don't tend to like your books now a days becuase of our society and its watered down literature, if you can even call it that. People are not used to reading books with actual vocabularies. Plus, with TV they do not like the books as much as the TV is more entertainment faster. However, Sherlock Holmes is completely hilarious, and so is John Watson. Whether it be a quip, a snide remark or a hidden joke, the books contain a good bit of humor.
Thanks for the awesome stories!
ME

Dear God,
Thanks for the blueberries, apples, bananas, other fruits, bread, nature, fall, warm houses, warm beds, pillows, water, opportunity to attend college, not being grievously ill, for getting into the nursing program, for being able to get all the stuff I need, that I'm not dead, that there are no more dinosaurs, planes, cars, bikes, treadmills with TVs, literature, stories, music, guitars, pianos and a bunch of other stuff.
Thanks again!
Me, your petulant child
PS sorry I don't spend enough time with You.

Dear tension headache,
WHY ARE YOU COMING BACK!!!!
(Q$@(%$#(%*!)

How days go by

I thought it funny when I actually sat down and looked at how I end up studying... it goes a little something life this:

• Get up, read a bit (30 mins later) write paper, (finish 3/4 of paper) Study A&P, then watch episode of Merlin, read, study, read, study, finish paper, sing loudly, polish paper, study, goof off, work out, study with friends, go home, eat, study, eat, read, goof off, sing loudly, read, write a blog, read, other intensely random things, write another blog....

Had a surprisingly good time...

To say I haven't had that much fun in while would be an understatement. Once in college you do not have your built in friends you once had in high school, that built in group who had always been friends. This only exacerbates the problem of finding new friends. Yeah there are those people who are in the same classes as you, ones who share your major, do your clinicals with, it's those people whom you bond with more out of necessity and the common battle you face rather than the actual enjoyment of their company. Not to say you will not find some great friends there, but sometimes you won't.
The weird thing is, now that we are in college I find myself doing just that. Bonding with those who share the common classes and who will be taking classes next semester with me, because we're all in the same boat; but, somehow it feels more out of necessity. Would I really enjoy hanging out with these people? Probably not, and socialization in classes and those tiny moments in between is not enough to keep you from feeling completely alone.
Which brings me to the next point. This last Saturday was pretty much impromptu the whole time. Which kinda includes the Friday before it. It consisted of hanging out with my best friend (STEPH!) and the crazy kids she hangs out with. And I was quite surprised at how much I enjoyed their company. Sure, I may not enjoy some of their musical tastes, nor am I so well versed in music groups as they are, but they were funny and real. And the best part is I felt comfortable being myself.
Which sounds stupid and like a teenager, but I swear there are just some people that you cannot be yourself around and even when "you" slip out they just insult you.
Not these cool cats!
Saturday started off with regular sabbath school followed by listening to Steph's friends play at the "heathen" church. Then we ate at Steph's house because of course her mom makes the best food! Then hanging in the afternoon. I long boarded, and wait for it!, did not fall off or die... yes I did go down hills and stuff.... and I was scared i was probably gonna die, but Stevie was there to help, and should I have fallen and could not get up, I feel he probably would have gotten help. Then we hung out some more, which always consists of guitars and singing before we went to a concert by a local artist. All and all it was a FANTASTIC time and gosh I hope to do it again some time becuase all school and no fun equals EMO!

Funny things.....

While in our Dev Psych class we were talking about how the higher education you have the happier you will be in life. So our teacher said go to college, plus you can get a career with higher pay.... A student rises their hand and said, "didn't Bill Gates not go to college?" to which our teacher replied, "Yes, he dropped out of Harvard, but spent hours upon hours on programs. He saw and oppritunity and took it"
I'm thinking, "YOU still have to go to college because you ARE NOT Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg and the guys who created google... So since you are not a flippin genius like Sherlock Holmes, you need to do some learning..."
I'm not quite sure what her comment was supossed to mean, or what she was thinking. But of course we have to go to college, or you have to hone sets of skills...
Also during this class people are talking about how in this technology age, facebook and texting have made our relationships not as deep. Well you make that chioce, why don't you go out with your friend, have a good time and chat instead of IMing them on facebook. Also, what about before google. You want to know more about something? well go find it in the library, doesn't matter if you do not know where it is, go find it...

Also, evidently people do not understand that there are different types and "levels" of Diabetes.... or that when the teacher says when you run out of fat you body starts to use protein,  and those proteins would be actin and myosin. We've already learned these are in the muscle, which I may add he had said at least 2 minutes before that you break down muscle while starving, some people still don't know... O.O

Oh, in case you didn't know, repeatedly putting guppies into a hypoglycemic coma, then waking them up in a sugar solution will lead to them DYING! SAU: mass guppy genocide...

Also, I hate this Iron vitamins, I take them in the morning to 30 minutes into class I feel very sure that I am going to barf at any moment...

Life

Life will never cease to amaze me with all its funny little quirks. It's more of a challenge than I had thought, but as insurmountable either. There are times in life when it's as if someone has bulldozed your dreams, but the funny thing about life is that it goes on. People are born, people die and the earth continues to spin on its ever so precarious axis oblivious to it all. Oh, but the earth, how unaware we are of it. A giant rock spinning thousands of miles an hour around an axis while circling a enormous ball of fire. The earth spins and we cannot feel it, we can see the effects it has on the weather and day and night, but never quite feeling the pull.

We all run around worrying about the most insignificant things, thinking the world will end should some of them not come about. The reality is that the world will not end and life goes on. You didn't get into the class you wanted? It's less than ideal but not going to kill you. People's homes burn down to the ground, not an item left; yet, they must continue on with their lives. They still will have to return to work.

Many people go through life seeing things, what is truly tragic thing is that they do not observe. They see the blooming flowers and blossoming trees, but do not observe the majesty of it or see how miraculous of a phenomenon they are witnessing. They will never know the infinitely complicated chemical processes, cells, or cycles must happen in a precisely accurate order to create this beauty. They will hear, but never listen. They will not apply the life lessons to prevent catastrophe. They will continue on with their meaningless lives with only a passing thought to the wonders of the world.

There are people who are burdened and oppressed, but those who are not do not see them. The rich man never sees the woman struggling to buy food for her children, already having forgone her own meals for days. They will never know the feeling of wondering if one will eat today, or even be alive at the end. We see some publicized pain, but never know or understand it, comforting ourself by throwing our small donation at the problems.

We take for granted our own liberties and freedom becuase they are constants in our ever changing lives. Without a second thought to those who have died for what we so eagerly claim. To remember those who are still fighting for us  so we can keep our current lifestyle. They sacrifice their lives with their families, comfort, and warm meals so we can enjoy those very same luxuries.

Time continues to tick on by, whether or not we are aware. It claims many souls while other triumph. Many search for more while others are content to wonder where the lost time has fled to. Whatever the case may be, the time is gone forever and will never come back. You cannot redo that situation you think about all the times. The what ifs swirling in your mind are completely irrelevant as you will never be able to change the past, but you can learn from it.


*this is what I do around midnight while staying up late in attempts to sign up for classes to be rudely informed that I cannot sign up for some classes I was assured I would be in/sign up for. Emailed advisor about it and anxiously await her reply. But until then I wrote long blogs about who knows what and then sleep!

A quickie...

Well, as I sit here in the library, awaiting my next class, I ponder what to do. Blog of course. However the time is limited; which can only make it better.
I shall tell you about a lecture we had today...
so the teach is talking about how men can make breast milk if they have a hormonal imbalance. so the guys chest hurts to which teh teach says "to comfort himself the guy unconsciously massages himself"
I managed to contain myself, but it only got worse from there as he described how this unlucky soul discovered that he had breast milk. "It squirted white stuff out and it got in his eye, so then he swallows some to see what it is...." I can't tell you anymore becuase I'm afried that might make my blog NC-17.

This was a real thing that happened and a group of us are just cracking up because the teach just keeps going on and on and on and what he says only got more perverted sounding. I think the teach knew that and did it on purpose.

Money troubles ahoy! Got to pay $200ish dollars to get nursing program stuff.... have to even pay for a damn background check... its $56! I could find out more about you for less.

Exams are just around teh corner and guess whose studying like a beast and making flashcards and such. I am. These exams will not get the best of me!
 I got a 70% on my last chem test and I believe the highest grade anyone got on it was an 80%. The teacher says we need to study more. I say he needs to learn how to teach better. Tried to get a tutor but they sucked big time and were less helpful than the internet. A friends trying to get the magnificent Randy to help tutor us and his mind is brilliant and we hope some of his genius will rub off on us.
We allegedly have a test at the end of the semester that is optional and can only better your grade for chem class. From what I understand, we can have the average % for our 1st 4 tests or this. You can imagine I'm studying for it.

A&P is another thing entirely and I can only hope I do well because one cannot remember every single detail.

Rants and raves...

While learning about cranial nerves and what they do, we were told that one controls facial expression, to which a student asks, "you mean there are people who don't have facial expressions?!"
Our teacher explained that doctors asses this and other factors in general exams and less pronounced or faulty facial expressions can mean a problem, to which he followed up by saying that some people just aren't that expressive.
Yes you can have facial paralysis if you damage the facial nerve you ding bat, was all I could think

Chem class had a person ask where the teacher got that number, for the conversion of mmHg into atm. The teacher did not understand as this is a set number for the conversion, long figured out by chemists before us and is given to us. If it weren't bad enough she didn't realize this and that she didn't have to figure out the number (to which I restate is a given) sh asked what if we were converting from mm of another element. No, we don't measure atmospheric pressure in any other element.... thermometers? anyone? atm is affected by Temp by the way, hence the mercury thermometer's response.

No silly student, meeting the minimum requirements for the Nursing program will not get you in. No, the school not accepting you and setting you back does not qualify as the schools fault.

Yes there is such a thing as phantom pain, no the person does not literally think their arm is there. But it sure as heck feels like it, you can understand the confusion and inability to fix the pain quickly.

When a limb is amputated, or any other type of thing removed surgically, is bio-hazardous waste and must be disposed of as such. Some hospitals have their own incinerators for this rather then send them off. Oh silly student, an incinerator is a machine that INCINERATES things.

No teacher, I don't think in the case of my limb being cut off that I will have enough time to find a large enough plastic bad to put it in and a large enough bin of ice to effectively save my arm and reach the hospital. I think I should probably be more worried about bleeding out as I have most likely severed an artery.

Oh you funny lab partners. No, I don't have the Babinski reflex as I'm an adult, rather well over the age of 2 and I am conscious and feel fine. It's most likely a normal plantar reflex, but sure go get out teacher just to make sure. http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003294.htm

No college, I am paying to attend you, not my parents so much, and I will get good grades. Please stop badgering me about dating and marriage, it's not going to happen right now. No! I said STOP!

No silly college, you LOST my paperwork TWICE, so no I don't owe you any money and yes you will fix it after my dad opens a can of whooping!

No people at the gym, I'm not stupid, disabled to retarded... I just trip a lot... on the tread mill

I'm not addicted to tumblr! I SWEAR!

Things to keep in mind .....

.... while watching shows from the UK...

1. "to get on" is not the UK equvilent of the U.S.'s "to get it on", but rather to get along well... or similar...
2. you should probably look up the slang for words. Some examples are daft, prat, git, nackered, arse, bobby, chips, wanker, bollucks and the like... you can look these up.... but some I'd rather not tell you, I think you should find out on your own.
3. Oh, don't forget shag.
4. Tea... it is everywhere. If they characters have access to it, it will appear multiple times within one episode
5. They put milk in their tea. *a practice I thought completely absurd and disgusting until I figured out it is really the only way to go.
6. Some other things are that to knock up is different as well as fag and rubber. They mean to knock on someone's door, a cigarette and an eraser, respectively.
7. And fanny is DEFINITELY not the same and it is HIGHLY unaccepted to spank one.
8. Overall there are tons of words that mean different things. You didn't think the dialects were that different, but it turns out they are
9. The more you watch, the more you can tell the differences between accents, even regions within a country.
10. I always forget they drive on the different side of the road and have the steering wheel odd too.... messes me up. I'm like, "why are they getting in the passen- oh."
11. you need to check out this site, not for the slang, but what we apparently say in the States... http://us2uk.tripod.com/slang.htm
12. Look up other stuff on that site... I'm not sure who made it, but it's pretty funny. The person was  quite taken aback about the fact Americans have sweet tea and say herbal as 'erbal...
13. If you're a woman, it's okay that you are thoroughly in love with that man's accent.
14. Oh and for the record, both countries spell gray/grey differently... do there, I don't think one or the other should count as the appropriate spelling.... no one knows how to spell it!

this is what I do when I'm bored and don't want to study but would feel like a horrible person for watching another Merlin episode...

PS I got a job interview. Going in with high hopes, but unsure of whether or not I will actually get the job

To off balance angst

This is how labs a supposed to be done

this is how my hair is constantly when it's down

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http://www.tumblr.com/dashboard#

Some things I found...

There's a point in all our lives where you take a good look at your own life and what you've done, and all your friends and wonder how everything could have possibly changed to fast. You think everybody has completely changed and are selfish or immature. But in reality it is you that has changed.

You know when you look back upon your life. Upon everything you've ever done or said, you start to realize that your life has been pointless, and your selfish and stupid to not realize all things that happen to other and how all you cared about was you and your stupid, pitiful, unfulfilled life. We'll not me. I plan to mack an impact on others, I plan to fight for others and make life better for them. I'm going to make others smile and laugh.

I try to remember
your name and your face
My mind likes to be at a happy place
You've left my mind
my heart and my soul.
But how can I ever possible feel whole
I don't like you now
I would love to say
But thats a life in every way
Wtihout you is a world of dark
without you, life has no spark
without you I'm hollow
without you I'm full of sorrow

It's odd how some moments stick out in your mind, but the important things you need to remember don't stick out. I don't know what happened a week ago and I couldn't tell you what I did last summer. [...]I remember th oddest moments but don't remember where I put anything, such as my sister's and I's passports. And that cost me a lot and still does. Memory is a confusing thing, it's never reliable and you can't trust it.

The way I see it, there are two ways to see the world. One, through rose-colored glasses or two, as the world really is. There's a joke about pessimists: they are optimists with experience. And truthfully in a way that's correct. Plus if you don't think the best and the best happens, you a heck of a lot more happy than you would have been if you though the best would happen and it doesn't. I guess I'm somewhat of a pessimist and negative sometimes, but it really depends on my mood. And the situation. Like take for example, my math placement test. I was for sure I was going to get stuck in the stupid (foundations) class. Everybody else did it at the end of school, so they remembered the math. I, on the other hand, happened to be sick that day. So i had to take it this Thursday and up until they told me I passed, I was for sure I was going to fail. I really shouldn't have cared that much but I did, and it felt food to pass when I thought I'd failed. Well to be frank, I always think the worst is hopes for the best, so maybe I'm not so pessimistic after all.

These are from way way back in the early teen years. I can tell a few things from them. 1) I wan't so bad at writing and 2) I was hella angsty!!! I mean what in the world?! I have no idea how that was me and how that me turned into this me. I mean I kinda remember, but shesh, I was a down right emo or something. i was evidently one angry child.... Thank goodness I grew out of that... almost.

to lighten things up, heres a list I had to make my junior year of high school

Visit

1. Germany
2. England
3. Egypt
4. Spain
5. Ireland
6. Scotland
7. Hawaii
8. Australia
9. Madagascar
10. Chili

Learn

11. To tango
12. To golf well (get at least par)
13. Play violin *this is obviously a sign that it should happen
14. Speak Spanish fluently
15. The anatomy of the human
16. Speak Italian
17. Speak German
18. To do calculus
19. To write calligraphy
20. To type faster/more accurately
21. How to make a real cheesecake
22. How to cook gourmet
23. Martial arts
24. Hand to hand combat
25. How to tap a phone
26. How to pick a lock
27. Draw better
28. Paint better
29. Draw in pen
30. Trace a phone call
31. Trace an IP address

Do

32. Touch a Stradivarius
33. Find my Prince Charming
34. Marry my Prince Charming
35. Have a family
36. Go on a mission trip
37. Go on a mission trip to another country
38. Finish high school
39. Finish college
40. Get great grades
41. Buy an awesome house
42. Decorate my house
43. Meet a deaf person
44. Meet a blind person
45. Meet a mute person
46. Dress gothic for a day
47. Dress hippie for a day
48. Dye my hair blue
49. Have a pixie hair cut
50. Be a brides maid
51. Become a Nurse Practioner
52. Fast
53. Help build a house
54. Ride on a galloping horse

Meet

55. Cote de Pablo
56. Michael Weatherly
57. Mark Harmon
58. Pauley Perrette
59. Sean Murray
60. Mike Rowe
61. Adam Savage
62. Jamie Hyneman
63. Kari Byron
64. Tony Belleci

Read

65. The Complete Works of Sherlock Holmes
66. Bible
67. The Five Love Languages
68. Crazy Love
69. How Not to Marry a Jerk
70. The Five Apology Languages

Miscellaneous

71. Knit a vest
72. Sew a vest
73. Knit shoes
74. Build a table
75. Build a chair
76. Knit a hat
77. Knit gloves
78. Knit leg warmers
79. Knit arm warmers

I FORGOT! go look at the blog before this one, there's no...

... PICTURES!

how dull...

Merlin

Sherlock

Pscyh

CLEVER INSPIRATIONAL VIDEO!

The greatest stories of all time...

You know what the greatest stories of all time have? What is their key factor that makes them so great?
What stories does everyone know?
Well, there's always Romeo and Juliet... Hamlet's a favorite of mine...
But what stories do you often just know, you remember throughout your life. Those stories you read and it just so good you wished it had not ended. Those stories that society remembers and continues to remake constantly... the one's deemed good enough to be movies...
I don't know about the rest of the world, but I think it's stories of friendships.
For example, some popular shows now include Merlin and Arthur (Arthurian legend is really fair game in any fiction), the Doctor and his friend (it changes, he is 903 yrs old), Holmes and Watson, and thats just a few.
Then you have House, which really has to be about his relationships with people constantly, particularly Cuddy and Wilson.
There's NCIS, the whole team is practically a dysfunctional family.
There's Psych with Shawn and Gus. And you know you love that show, don't even lie.
Don't forget the Star Trek's classic Bones, Spock, and Kirk.
Most shows that you watch are about friendships, sometimes colleagues, sometimes schoolmates, sometimes those friends you've had since childhood.
I seem to like friendship stories most of all becuase you can always relate. There are love stories, but then you have the whole complicated "they're not good enough for XYZ" and "I don't like him/her" and then there's always this chance that they will break up or cheat...
But friendship is different, becuase friends are friends and you love them no matter what they do.
If you're thinking that sounds like love, well it is. Then there's that romantic love and you say, it sounds like that too. But somehow in modern society it has gotten lost and you lover is never really you friend but rather a temporary person in your life that you may marry.
To say that this is only in the media and Hollywood would be a lie, and that's potentially one of the saddest things that is happening in our generation.
OH and you know you watch shows and every time someone is good friends with someone else, they are automatically in love, according to the viewers. It's true, no one is safe. It doesn't matter if they're both boys, and both of them are straight... it's all fair game, even though it's not true.....

So you ask yourself, "self, what is the point of this rambling blog?"
Well I the writer will do you the favor of telling you the exact reason for this blog.
It has something to do with I haven't written a blog in a bit and I felt guilty.
There's a bit of stalling on homework happening, but it's too late now to actually do anything productive as I can't do anything school-wise after 8 or 9.... yeah I cannot pull all nighters... its pointless.
There's a whole lot of I signed up for NaNoWriMo and I have no idea what else is going to happen in my novel and I'm a couple thousand words behind.....

YAY!

Oh and I felt bad for watching so many Merlin episodes back to back, so I guess this is an intermission to make me feel better about a potential addiction that I may or may not have.

Dear people...

... who say I'm always at the doctor. I would like to adress this issue and I will break down into points so your small minds can have a chance at understanding it.

1. This spring I went to the doctor becuase I looked as pale as a fricking ghost and could hardly make it through a day. Not normal. My hemoglobin was so low it almost qualified for a transfusing. Not okay. So yes I did see the doctor as I DID NOT WANT TO DIE!
2. Another thing this spring. My hands started to swell (edema), hurt, itched, and I couldn't feel as well or use my hands as well either. So yes, again I wanted to know why my hands are swelling as this can be a sign of a major medical issue, that and I wanted to use my hands again and not go crazy becuase they itched. Dyshidrotic excema.
3. Last year I went to the doctor. Once was becuase I woke up with all over pain(flu anyone?), was barely coherent (am I ever?), and had major chills and was crying... but lets pretend that didn't happen. So I did not go of my own free will, but I did manage to coerce my mom into just going to a clinic not the ER. (kinda a bad idea in hindsight as I think the ER might have made me feel better faster... and not wait 2hrs). So I had the flu... Still it was not my choice to go.
4. Again to go because I was sweating bullets and had a fever of 102 F, after taking an Aleve. Well that and I thought if I got their okay, they would let me go to school. No I actually go BANNED, which wasn't surprising as you could probably tell I had a fever with me practically melting.
5. Also, should I have gone to the doctor another time it would have been for an infection, bacterial, as I 1) don't have time to take weeks to get better and 2) I understand that these infections can get progressively worse and spread; therefor you should not let it get that far. WARNING: this applies to actual infections, not sniffles from allergies.
6. Also, guess who is more prone to getting respiratory infections? ME! DARN THAT ASTHMA AND ALLERGIES. (Good news: actually taking my meds for this consistently actually helps.... who woulda thunk)
7. I think we should also examine that I am now probably more healthy than a good bit of my friends and specifically those who make said stupid comments.
8. NO I DON'T go the doctor that much. This past year has only been for non-infection problems (see 1&2)
9. I admit I went to the doctor this past few months. Why you may ask. Well after working out 1 hr a day cardio, 5 days a week I was still really fatigued. I couldn't get through a day without a nap. That's not what's supposed to happen when one gets more healthy. Got that fixed. (dang gum iron won't stick!)
10. Oh, and I haven't even gone to the ER in over a year for the kidney stones or other wise. 
11. And I don't have mono.

Well since none of those people will read this blog, I guess it could just be a humorous one, or a venting one... could really be both at the same time.

PS I also think people actually like me and don't think I'm evil, a snob, lesbian, slut, whore, ect.

I think Steph loves me....

Some things that I should be worried about.....

1. I don't mind people stealing art, as long as it goes into hands that will treat it well.
2. Burning art/ripping/anything destructive is not okay.
3. Burning books is never okay.
4. Especially if they are one of a kind.
5. I would mind more if I had an accident in my car than someone else's... becuase then I've wrecked my car. Injuries take a second seat.
6. I wouldn't mind broken bones as long as theres not severe lasting handicap.
7. My head I mind very much... but somehow I think it's rather hard so we might be okay.
8. If I am paralyzing to the point I can't move my arms and legs, ect. and am there for a burden on my family, I would probably rather die. PROBABLY because it hasn't happened and you never know until your in a situation how you will act.
9. I wouldn't mind so much if for some reason I didn't go back to school and get the education to be an NP.
10. I need to stop spacing off so much, especially while walking... on a treadmill.... did you know at some point you almost stop walking?

So anyway there's that.

I rearranged all my books and bookshelves and cleaned them and got rid of a ton yesterday. I can honestly tell you I have no idea how it started, but from there it snowballed.

Food For Thought

Dying. Some people fear it, while others welcome it with open arms. Some will do anything and everything to avoid it, when others tempt it as sport. The heroes who are willing give their lives for others everyday, and sometimes they do. War lord and evil cause so much death, while medicine can give life. Technology can be used to cause great death, or to save thousands. There are some who will never stop at battling the beast for others too weak to do it themselves. But whatever the reason, whatever the cause, death is not pretty. Death can be poetic if you make it so, but to break it down can only show the indecency of it. The body shuts down as the blood stops flowing, but the cells keep on trying becuase they don't know. You will eventually decay after looking good for your last stand.  Turning into dust. Death is not something to be taken lightly, n or too seriously. But to the loved ones of the dead, to them death is the ultimate thief. Snatching the lives of their friends and family, always, it seems, before their time. It leaves a hole in your heart and a ache in your chest and in those moments death is still death. Whether it was a heroic, natural, or tragic, it still took your loved on away and that cannot be changed....

TAKE THAT people who try to romanticize things!

YAY PONIES AND RAINBOWS!

On another note I don't know what I'm going to be for Halloween and I'm attending a big party so I think it should have some effort put in. But it should be comfy, not too skimpy, not require a lot of make and preferably small or no props. Yeah I did think it through and list criteria. PS cannot be Sherlock Holmes as I 1 do not have a "detective" outfit or anything that look remotely like that. And 2 I didn't think the pipe and hat would make it if I ordered it.

I bet that scared you to death in a small way...

How to Survive the WORST storm in 70 years

1. Do not stop and take pictures of tornadoes
2. Do not stand and FILM said tornadoes
3. RUN from tornadoes
4. If you're in a trailer, don't even bother with the hiding, you will die if the tornado comes either way.
5. You shouldn't start freaking out until the tornado is seen by you, because it's tiring getting scared every time someone "sees" a tornado.
6. If you are a newscaster, I do not want to listen to you ramble on and on about this storm instead of letting me watch NCIS... Everyone else had scheduled programing...
7. You know you've lived in Tennessee long enough if every time theres a tornado warning you're like "wateva!"
8. Stay away from large structures like dams and bridges as they are already kinda on the sketchy side of being kept up... the tornado might be the final straw.

What people do instead of trying to live

 

This is from Okalhoma... picture or live? picture

Is Global Warming Worsening Hurricanes? 

evidently if it is... we don't really have anything to worry about as we'll probably be dead before it gets HORRIBLE....

 

We're doing it wrong...

Steph, if you read this.... I AM SOOOO BORED! IM DYING IN THE LIBRARY!!!!

Things you may not have known...

1. Sherlock Holmes once knocked up Watson. Let's just say John was less than pleased...
2. You know when you do those crazy spaz-attacks before you go to sleep. Often times your falling and you wake up? These are myoclonic twitches.
3. Hiccups are too.
4. Also when you lose concentration sometimes, though rarely, you can have myoclonic twitches too.
5. Cleaning one's room is always a chore.... UNLESS IT'S TO AVOID HOMEWORK!
6. Not feeding me equals me losing weight without even trying, or working out... it's pretty serious.
7. Also, sometimes I find I am too cheap to buy food... even if I'm starving.
8. Dogs are still stupid... yes they are.
9. I may be the only person who got so lost in thought making a list of' "to-do"s that I almost tripped and fell on the treadmill...
10. It's okay most times if you go the opposite direction on a one way... most people also share your aversion to having a crash and dying.
11. PS I'm not so sure this counts on the highway...
12. Death storms are very suspenseful... and boring.
13. Reading your little silly fiction books does not hardly count as reading. Sometimes you actaully have to read literature.
14. The Rubiks cube is kicking my butt.
15. Sherlock Holmes promises to kill you if you kill Watson. Go on, I dare you.. try it.
16. Did you know that Gibbs once made Chuck Norris cry? Yes, only once becuase Chuck Norris never made the mistake of upsetting Gibbs again.
17. Get a planner. It can only help you.
18. Sherlock Holmes is not a sociopath, contrary to popular belief.
19. Watson is a ladies man. No seriously... he sees a cute woman and he pounces...
20. You need to do the Fork in the Garbage Disposal.

Fork in the Garbage Disposal

Dear...

Dear CSI Miami people, I believe it would be in your best interest if your GSP tracking devices did not SAY THAT EXACTLY on them. I believe this could alert the people you are trying to track or tip off the bad guy who has your good guy.

Dear Christians, SHHHH don't speak. Grow a brain and then you shall be allowed. PS listen to God, not yourself. Also, using the Bible to support the Bible is stupid. Just all around.

Dear World, not every good friend ship is sexual. Period. No. Furthermore, it ruins the TV show and the suspense. You have to wonder. But then again some people are friends.

Dear Survey of Chemistry Teacher, I would prefer we cover major concepts in class rather than teaching imbeciles how to plug in numbers to simple equations that are self explanatory.

Dear Women of the World, no you need not get married. It's okay if you don't. More importantly you do not need to do it so early. Maybe you should see the world first and explore life. Be yourself and find out who YOU are.

Dear People, to play Sherlock Holmes in anything and be good you must: be looney and not eat a lot. No really, it's true.

Dearest Tutoring Services, I NEED A TUTOR NOW! Follow in JG Wentsworth's footsteps. People need their money and they need it now. I NEED A TUTOR AND I NEED  IT NOW!

Dearest Lizzi Child, I do not have the same tastes as Destiney, or anything remotely close other than the gender.

Dear Women, having a brain is fantastic, using it is even better! If you should marry someone, they should have done the same.

Dear College, no my parents aren't paying for me to attend here. Yes, it was through much hard work and scholarships and grants that I attend here. Yes, I am also in debt. So please do not tell me that I should get good grades, for 20K a year, I'm gonna try my hardest!

Dear Sherlock Holmes, WHY AM I NOT LIKE YOU! WHY ARE YOUR NOT REAL!

Dear Steven Moffat, why don't you come over here to America and change the face of TV forever.

Dear Food, we used to be such good friends. What has happened? Oh I remember, your full of preservatives and grossness so I won't eat you.

Dear Fruit and Yogurt, come live and grow in my yard so I can have a lifetime supply of awesomeness to eat.

Dear Psych, COME BACK ON TV!

Dearest Rib, I wish you would stay in your appropriate location as it would save me a lot of grief and pain.

Dear Rubik's Cube, you may have won this battle, but I will win the WAR! I will BEAT YOU!

Dear Boys Who Look Like and Dress Like Girls, no.

Dear Mickey the Pomeranian, stop biting me. It's not FUNNY.

Dear Self, why must you always wake up at 3AM. And sometimes remember things I have not done. (Such as possibly leaving one's window rolled down and having a MASSIVE STORM come and assault your car)

Dear America, WHY YOU NO WATCH SHERLOCK?

Dear Other College Students, some of these things we're learning are not so hard, most are generals. Plus, if you have to ask such stupid questions, you should NOT be a Nurse as one has to be able to utilize the brain... which you have proven you cannot do.

Dear Tumblr, STOP BEING SO ADDICTING. If I don't check you 50 times a day I feel empty inside.

Dear Pre-Labs, you are ridiculously hard and not really worth my time. But I have to search forever for the answers so my grade will stay good.

Dear Graders, if one gets a 91% on a test, don't you think its a bit much to write good job? I mean I know I'm awesome and the like, but how bad do others have to be doing that a barely A is a good job.

Dear Friends, where have you all gone?

Dear God, why can I not get this relationship thing!

Dear College Students Who Say They Know Who They Are and What They Want to Be, you will now epically fail at life becuase really you never know fully who you are and what you will do. Life gets in the way of plans and maybe God doesn't want you to do that. You will never be the same year to year. Your goals will change, so will jobs, friends and outlooks.

Combine Sherlock and Doctor Who in caption form? Brilliant.

Maybe Holmes and Watson were more than just friends. Watson's getting a little touchy here.

So think about it. We all know the phrase "No shit Sherlock," but what did Holmes get to say to people when they stated the obvious?

THIS IS THE BEST! Special dedication to Steph!

For more hilarious pictures you should check out my tumblr. the names louderthelife