Some things I found...

There's a point in all our lives where you take a good look at your own life and what you've done, and all your friends and wonder how everything could have possibly changed to fast. You think everybody has completely changed and are selfish or immature. But in reality it is you that has changed.

You know when you look back upon your life. Upon everything you've ever done or said, you start to realize that your life has been pointless, and your selfish and stupid to not realize all things that happen to other and how all you cared about was you and your stupid, pitiful, unfulfilled life. We'll not me. I plan to mack an impact on others, I plan to fight for others and make life better for them. I'm going to make others smile and laugh.

I try to remember
your name and your face
My mind likes to be at a happy place
You've left my mind
my heart and my soul.
But how can I ever possible feel whole
I don't like you now
I would love to say
But thats a life in every way
Wtihout you is a world of dark
without you, life has no spark
without you I'm hollow
without you I'm full of sorrow

It's odd how some moments stick out in your mind, but the important things you need to remember don't stick out. I don't know what happened a week ago and I couldn't tell you what I did last summer. [...]I remember th oddest moments but don't remember where I put anything, such as my sister's and I's passports. And that cost me a lot and still does. Memory is a confusing thing, it's never reliable and you can't trust it.

The way I see it, there are two ways to see the world. One, through rose-colored glasses or two, as the world really is. There's a joke about pessimists: they are optimists with experience. And truthfully in a way that's correct. Plus if you don't think the best and the best happens, you a heck of a lot more happy than you would have been if you though the best would happen and it doesn't. I guess I'm somewhat of a pessimist and negative sometimes, but it really depends on my mood. And the situation. Like take for example, my math placement test. I was for sure I was going to get stuck in the stupid (foundations) class. Everybody else did it at the end of school, so they remembered the math. I, on the other hand, happened to be sick that day. So i had to take it this Thursday and up until they told me I passed, I was for sure I was going to fail. I really shouldn't have cared that much but I did, and it felt food to pass when I thought I'd failed. Well to be frank, I always think the worst is hopes for the best, so maybe I'm not so pessimistic after all.

These are from way way back in the early teen years. I can tell a few things from them. 1) I wan't so bad at writing and 2) I was hella angsty!!! I mean what in the world?! I have no idea how that was me and how that me turned into this me. I mean I kinda remember, but shesh, I was a down right emo or something. i was evidently one angry child.... Thank goodness I grew out of that... almost.

to lighten things up, heres a list I had to make my junior year of high school

Visit

1. Germany
2. England
3. Egypt
4. Spain
5. Ireland
6. Scotland
7. Hawaii
8. Australia
9. Madagascar
10. Chili

Learn

11. To tango
12. To golf well (get at least par)
13. Play violin *this is obviously a sign that it should happen
14. Speak Spanish fluently
15. The anatomy of the human
16. Speak Italian
17. Speak German
18. To do calculus
19. To write calligraphy
20. To type faster/more accurately
21. How to make a real cheesecake
22. How to cook gourmet
23. Martial arts
24. Hand to hand combat
25. How to tap a phone
26. How to pick a lock
27. Draw better
28. Paint better
29. Draw in pen
30. Trace a phone call
31. Trace an IP address

Do

32. Touch a Stradivarius
33. Find my Prince Charming
34. Marry my Prince Charming
35. Have a family
36. Go on a mission trip
37. Go on a mission trip to another country
38. Finish high school
39. Finish college
40. Get great grades
41. Buy an awesome house
42. Decorate my house
43. Meet a deaf person
44. Meet a blind person
45. Meet a mute person
46. Dress gothic for a day
47. Dress hippie for a day
48. Dye my hair blue
49. Have a pixie hair cut
50. Be a brides maid
51. Become a Nurse Practioner
52. Fast
53. Help build a house
54. Ride on a galloping horse

Meet

55. Cote de Pablo
56. Michael Weatherly
57. Mark Harmon
58. Pauley Perrette
59. Sean Murray
60. Mike Rowe
61. Adam Savage
62. Jamie Hyneman
63. Kari Byron
64. Tony Belleci

Read

65. The Complete Works of Sherlock Holmes
66. Bible
67. The Five Love Languages
68. Crazy Love
69. How Not to Marry a Jerk
70. The Five Apology Languages

Miscellaneous

71. Knit a vest
72. Sew a vest
73. Knit shoes
74. Build a table
75. Build a chair
76. Knit a hat
77. Knit gloves
78. Knit leg warmers
79. Knit arm warmers